Upside Down - 13/11 October 2003 / part 1
Mr Rude-froth,
Blind dead, sad and stupid after the death of cupid, harrow. Follow the furrow, chasing
the fucking ploughlads out of the field. Wielding a gun, son, threatening to shoot everyone.
No nose, no eyes, no mouth, no more. MORE! Had a crisis last weekend, in case you couldn't tell.
In brief, I collapsed in the pub in the early hours of Saturday morning. Woke up at 7a.m. and didn't know who I was or what I was or where I was and I'd pissed the bed. Felt drugged, felt like I'd been spiked, Steve and the Geez had to help me upstairs and put me in one of the guest rooms. Turns out someone was buying me drinks and making me drink quick (I drink at my own pace, learned to, remember the days of me swilling 'em down and doing the collapse calypso) in a stupid 'I can drink more than you game'. I can drink for 12 or more hours solid at my own pace without getting drunk or daft. I got up at 1p.m., went downstairs and started on the piss again til about midnight when I had to get my mate out 'cos he was kicking off. Oh, on Friday night I had to have a heart to heart and comfort cuddle with Charlotte (Steve's fiance) 'cos she was in bit of a state. Sunday had to take Keith to hospital after the pub, turns out he'd fractured his left heel dancing/showering in the rain. So I've had to get my head in shape again so I can go out of the box again, again, again.
Listening to The Pogues. That Austin is a fucking babe man, wouldn't mind tongueing her cheeks, easy now, don't get jealous, she's not real, or is she? I only fucked Ruth/Bowen Fife up the arse twice, she thought she was a dirty bitch but she wasn't really, she was just a fucking bitch. Mind you I had my finger up her arse plenty of times, esp. when fucking her, she was a pretty little thing though wasn't she, pretty fucked-up though and d'ya remember when she left that time I said "Why do I get the crazy ones". Yes I'm naming and shaming 'cos it's diffusing the anger a bit, and if anyone reads this stuff that knows her (she's in Lincolnshite somewhere) give her a fucking slap for playing her stupid fucking middle-class games with a poor peasant like me. Sing-song. Ping-pong. Bing-bong. Wing-wong. Oops-a-daisy, I'm fucking crazy. I'm crazy and so is my wife. Welcome to Barbados have a nice day. WY. You fucking fucking lucky bastard. And you still believe in djnnis? Three punchlines. Will tell you the jokes sometime but yer'v prob heard 'em. Worship me whistle and flute. Weird Fish nice green top. Cash-gash. Hole-Ole. What watch? Melting metal. That was inedible muck and there wasn't enough of it, Sir Henry. Washing brain, body and soul in glistening silver rivers of vodka.
All daylight had disappeared. Busy doing nothing. Just letting it all flow through, in and out. That stupid bitch thought that she could leave me a little note saying 'Sorry' when I went to collect my stuff, fucking thick cow. She could have / did have all the sex she wanted to and more but had to consort with my inferiors, welcome to her, no going back, ever, 'cos I don't know where she's been. Not even one off the bottom, of the pile(s). Ask Aspel. Beyond sanity but not insane, unsane. Yeh! Bring it on home. My spider needs a fly soon or it's gonna die, don't know how long they can last without dinner and don't know what I can feed it with. Be Jesus. Whap. Ping-ding microwave meals. Nuke 'em. Puke 'em. Sputum. Futon, spit 'em. She swallowed my cum. Violent chin, in a spin. Swapped vest, blue for green marks. Wicked sparks utensil potential. Potent ate. The wizard. Shamen. Eye, I. Don't know. Do No. Don't no. Do Know. Well she's dutch. Going. Second piss, third piss, rolls again. She thought she could buy me off but hasn't seen payback time yet. Probably Knot, sire. He Zeus. Laze. Hazy zenith, zero option. Blue slimey, blimey, pot/kettle. Fish. Wish. Cunt-re-chicken. Whoops. Exhale yer smog bath into ground. Means abusing yer body noddy. In toy town.
Got bluegrass tape on. It's all meant for a porpoise. No longer need to get washed and changed before I go out 'cos it's no longer summer and I'm not wearing shorts etc during the day so can go out rough 'n ready and stinkin' thinkin' (cheers Shawn) as I am, not. Fun kwot. The bath is in yer bucket sire, horse. Shittle, spittle, shuttle, shuffle. I am a man of constant sorrow. Banjo break-down. Born in a state of worship, you parsnip, greens. Chuck it away. Round the (w)hole. O.K. Frottage away. Hi-Ho Silver. Cut. Grip yer guts. I've got them muddy waters levee breaking blues. Tell me how long do I have to wait before the water rises and the levee breaks. Have to get to the stage where I don't want a woman and that's when they appear. As if. Ate it. A tit. Four lawn. Mowing my grass but I haven't got any. Bits and pieces. The world is spinning too fast but not as fast as my brain sometimes/all the time.
