F.U.B.A.R. - 12 February/28 April 2004 / part 3
Much of this epistle has been censored by the thought-police. Shame really but never mind. On and on we go. Onwards and upwards. Trumpet. I should fucking coco! Vespasian in the attic somewhere, been chasing him about for yonks and I don't even know who he fucking well is. Piece. Putting the pieces back together again. Pushing and pulling. Dragging them out and trying to slot them into place again. Some are so heavy. Not just to lift. trying to put some of the pieces back in place. For today - beer, wine, amphetamine, hash, weed. Not bad, got my mate some weed and he gave me a bag of billy. For tonight. I passed it round; dib, dab, dob. got wine and skunk to try and stave off the worst pangs of loneliness. And still full of amphetamine, and still lonely as fuck.
P.A.B.M appears to have moved upstairs, thank fuck, so things are a bit different here, it's a lot easier on the head without him stomping up and down his floor all the time. And making noises that I dare not try and put pictures to. Looks like Keith has got it all now, think he's now in the room above Keith. Oh dear. he's up in Irwen The Zombie's domain now so let's see how well his little Peek-A-Boo games go down up there. But such a difference here in my skull without him pacing around constantly on the eggshells of my mind.
Not been to Hull for nearly a year now and it's almost the anniversary of the evil whore turning, and me coming back here and totally breaking-down to the point where I could not help myself. Keith and cheryl saved my life for me 'cos I couldn't, didn't want to. She's been in my thoughts and dreams an awful lot and it's been a rough, tough old time. And it still fucking is but I've got my front to put on when I need it and I can at least try to pretend that it's all happening to someone else. Goats and horses. I've got tears in my eyes. How can it still be so sad after all this time? It is. Went deep. Got infected. Became a complete idiot. Lost the water-wings I won. Stupid rhymes and stupid crap. Privvy. Her I can't get over. Must. Chair-leg. I let somebody get under my skin. Lots of stuff has gone on, lots of time has passed. Lots I can't say, but I did kick that window one paralytic Sat.night/Sun.morn. We had an amazing time with the doves and the coke, and had enough skunk in one night to be in a total fucking daze for 7 weeks. got some Morroccan now, not fantastically strong but no shit in it, the best hash I can remember smoking in this country since....?
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As an adjunct to Musicport we have a weekly club up and running called The Compass Club at a local hotel on Fri. nights. Started 26 March with Jah Wobble And The Invaders Of The Heart, was an amazing gig and Wobble was such a nice bloke.
On 16 April we had Arthur Brown, he's from Whitby and another really nice, down-to-earth bloke. I remember seeing him years ago in Hull and was not too impressed but they were really fuckin' good. There's some footage up at Whitby.tv. I met a couple from Norway, Gier and Anya, they were over here to interview Arthur Brown for a magazine they run in Norway called Monster. There is a big demo review section in their mag. and Gier has been known to issue death threats in his reviews of particularly shite demos. We all got on like a house on fire when we hooked-up on the Sat. night. I met them in the hotel bar at 6:30 Sun. 'cos they wanted to buy me dinner, we drank and talked and never got round to eating. We went onto vodka and orange, at some point Anya went up to bed and Gier and I carried on...and on. John the night porter came over and shouted "Congratulations, lads, you've just broke the record," (for late drinking), but I can't remember what time that was. We both staggered out of there about 10am Mon. morning and he wanted more beer so we went to the supermarket and bought beer and gin, went back to mine for a while, then went to pick Anya up, get some breakfast and back to the pub. They left at 4.30 and really didn't want to go but had to be in Newcastle to interview the guitarist from Venom. I woke up Tues face-down on the bed with my coat on.
Little damage for a binge that started 2.00 Sunday afternoon and ended 11-ish Monday night, non-stop. No whizz, just alcohol and skunk. I am going over to visit them in Trondhiem in sept, they are involved in a festival over there and I'm really looking forward to it. I was sat in the pub one night and my friend got a text from another friend, who was out of town, asking if he was o.k. He texted back - 'No M8 Not Alright Just Shot Some Cunt Who You Know. Kept 2 Of His fingers 4U'.
