Two Fried Eggs - 03/07 January 2004 / part 2
Talking to me. About me, you fucking what. An awful lot of drugs and violence has just gone down centred round me but I want more and more 'cos it's so fucking addictive and the mate who looks after us won't let us near our fucking guns 'cos he knows we're all fucking crackers, but I'm getting afraid 'cos nothing scares me. I'm the bloke who wants to fuck the fucking VIRGIN MARY right up the arse and make her cum and cum as I slit GODS throat but I'm so frustrated 'cos none of these stupid, false, phoney cunts actually exist including me. you wanted a rant, you got one, now fuck-off while i try to blow me fucking brains out one last time on me last bit of skunk till... Marjorie Doors. Feed the birds - tuppence a gallon. My right arm really aches now 'cos I've written these two pages almost straight off to get it down but there's a muscle in my arm that's gone rock hard and hurting and I need to stop at about 7am, fuck it all anyway, not much skunk left, blim of Morrocco, 1/3 of bloody mary and no more vodka, surely there must be 1 lady who wants to talk to me and fuck me, the law of averages dictates you must exist, not that I pay much attention to the law, but where are you and if you ever get here, which I doubt, where the fuck am I? As one deflates another one inflates, it has to, it's a law, "Oh really?" says I, stood there, arms folded, cocky look and giving the swagger that you can even do stood still which usually stops knobheads trying to start and which goes "Come 'n 'ave a go if you think you're fucking hard enough." Ooh there's some sport with someone in particular, but I'm putting the word out so that hopefully he will avoid me and I won't have to hurt him for a bit, but I will eventually 'cos the little dwarf thought he was big enough the other day in the street to have a dance with me and i don't mean our 'dancing' (fighting), he was running around and doing what I can only describe as a girly dance round me as I got more and more annoyed and shouting "you fucking little twat, cunt, you fucking little piece of shit etc" and before I could grab the little non-entity to knock him out and teach him a lesson in PAUL the cop van came round the corner and I was shouted back to the pub before doors were locked and no prob leaving me mate with three of 'em 'cos he didn't and never will need any back-up but there were loads 'o' levels to this and I was there, but alls O.K. 'cos their conspiracy to provoke violence by incitement is shot full of holes and the police haven't even bothered (Babylon Man!) to take our statements 'cos they know exactly what went on and these stupid nobody's who are not from Whitby (obviously) have made a really, really big mistake and we both laughed ourselves even stupider than we already are in the pub the other night about it 'cos who those two think they are I will never know. There were two lovely ladies (well, lasses really, they were only 21) in the pub, both had fellas at home obviously, but we had a real good laugh and walked 'em back to their B+B, which was on my way home, in the pouring rain but ***** had to go back across town in it. Wo wo wo, what fantastic lasses, made 'em promise to come back with their fellas and we'll all have a real good laughing night out. But fuck all that, shit rising, noises on the horizon, I want me fucking gun, me mate wants his fucking gun too but ***** won't let us have 'em 'cos he knows we will only go around shooting people. But what he won't listen to (you can't reason with him sometimes) is the fact that these people that we both wanna shoot really fucking do need shooting mate and it needs doing and we want to do it but he's only being careful I suppose 'cos there's still 2 heads in the fridge and 3/4's in the microwave and he's waiting for the organic flow to take care of those (nod, nod,nudge, nudge, wink, wink, say no more), but for the size of this town, even with our skills it will start to get hot and be time to move on, out of England this time, I hope, once and for all, thank fuck. Rampage Day Looming, 2 hours.
